I’m afraid to do a love poem.
I’m afraid to do a love poem for fear of memorializing any of the boys who have moaned my name with their hands in their pockets.
Built me into monument, and then never visited.
I’m afraid the loneliness might break free again.
As you can see, it has already eaten me alive.
How I have eaten and eaten… I’ve got this magic trick I do where I double in size! … just to fill the empty space in my bed and I’m afraid.
I’m hiding. I mean- I’m afraid I might be hiding from love.
Or- I’m afraid of love, so I’m hiding.
Im afraid love won’t want me once they find me here.
In the flesh. Here hiding in all this flesh.
I’m afraid to do a love poem, for fear of being faced with just how little I actually have… to fill it with.
This is my first collaboration with a male photographer, Justin Thorpe. This series displays my regular self care practices in my private space paired with pieces of my writing. The intent through this series of photographs and poems is to share what it looks and feels like to take care of a fat body. My love and acceptance of my body, began in my bedroom. And though my bedroom and my body have changed and will continue to, this will always be sanctuary. Xoxo